Welcome to the Knotions take on crafty horoscopes – our occasionally snarky, often sarcastic and always silly look at the stars with a yarny fiber bend.

Enjoy it, share it, and most of all – laugh a little!

Remember, the stars may guide us, but your yarn holds the real answers. Let’s see what September has in store for your crafting destiny.

Read on for your sign’s fiber forecast…

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

• The Vibe: That 2022 sweater WIP is plotting revenge.
• Lucky Charm: Stitch markers (the ones your couch hasn’t eaten).
• Warning: Mars says it’s finally time for those sleeves.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

• The Vibe: Your latest project is destined for Instagram fame.
• Lucky Charm: That perfect lighting for project photos.
• Warning: Not everyone needs a handknit gift (even if they ask nicely).

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

• The Vibe: Three new techniques calling your name.
• Lucky Charm: That YouTube tutorial you’ve bookmarked.
• Warning: Maybe learn brioche and steeking separately.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

• The Vibe: A surprise yarn shop sale is in your future.
• Lucky Charm: That one-skein pattern (perfect for six skeins).
• Warning: Venus says ignore your bank account’s protests.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

• The Vibe: Your attention to detail saves a project.
• Lucky Charm: Your religiously-updated row counter.
• Warning: That dropped stitch from 15 rows ago? You’ll find it.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

• The Vibe: Practical meets “I need ALL the colors”.
• Lucky Charm: The tape measure that never lies.
• Warning: Time is still finite (even for you).

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

• The Vibe: Fourteen new projects vs. guilt about UFOs.
• Lucky Charm: Actually labeled stitch markers.
• Warning: That variegated yarn is keeping secrets.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

• The Vibe: Your stash is tipping the scales.
• Lucky Charm: Those duplicate needles you just found.
• Warning: The yarn diet can start next month.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

• The Vibe: Time to pioneer a new technique.
• Lucky Charm: That wild art yarn you’ve been saving.
• Warning: Not everything needs to be frogged.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

• The Vibe: Adopting lonely skeins from destash sales.
• Lucky Charm: Your secret sharp scissors.
• Warning: That gauge swatch is definitely lying.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

• The Vibe: Cracking the code of vintage patterns.
• Lucky Charm: Forgotten stash yarn discoveries.
• Warning: Deadlines make your projects stronger.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

• The Vibe: Big dreams meet reality checks.
• Lucky Charm: The ever-expanding project bag.
• Warning: That hand-dyed yarn won’t knit itself.

Until the next issue,  may your stitches be true, your yarn never tangle, and your inspiration flow freely.

Happy crafting, star gazers!